So that’s it; I drove all the way to Emeryville, interviewed at the Nielsen building, and did not get the job. Basically, now that I was able to get through 3 prior levels of interviewing, and then be denied, for what was unequivocally my dream position, it has allowed me to achieve another state of catharsis. Stay with me here:
Growing up, my dad was gone a lot, and I had no other big male figures in my life. I have always had a certain duality: unknown rock star by night and engineer by day, and that worked for me, but in truth I am a writer and I was neglecting that part of myself. Growing up, with not a lot of role modeling, my only male symbolism was my father in a suit, reading a newspaper, with a briefcase. It instilled in me a certain need for success within the corporate sphere, not because it was necessarily what I wanted, but because it felt like my only reference to a larger sense of my heritage, and my family.
My grandfather, on the other hand, was an intensely entrepreneurial man from Mexico City, also musical (violin), also artistic (photography). This is the year that I finally embrace the artist within, and allow the engineer to fade away. I will always enjoy writing code: local scripts to rip mp3s in a folder, to hacking an API with Ruby, and the occasional SQL indulgence. But it’s clear that my value to the world is as a writer; and not exactly as a songwriter, which I would have never thought, but as a sort of musical journalist. So be it.
I launched CHILLFILTR in March, and we are now ahead of all of my original peer targets, in terms of Alexa ranking. My favorite statistic is that in any given week, CHILLFILTR gets visits from at least 50 countries, sometimes more than 60. We also have a considerable presence in the US.
I cannot ignore the clear messages I am getting from fans, friends, and the world at large. I am committed to allowing the year of 2019 to bring what it may, but one thing is for sure: I will not be doing much engineering. I write for CHILLFILTR.com every day, and I am about to launch a podcast. This year will be all about the music.